Benefits That A Divorce Can Have on Children
I have been practicing Family Law for a long time, therefore I often see the emotional turmoil that occurs with divorces, custody battles, and guardianship issues. I understand firsthand how, emotionally challenging these subjects are. It’s common in uncontested divorces to see fighting and bickering between the parties. As a longtime Family Law attorney, I understand the emotional trauma that is often associated with divorce. However, because I have been around divorce cases so much of my career, I have come to realize that there are also areas where children of divorce actually benefit from the divorce or separation.
Below are a few examples of the most common benefits to children that I see that result from divorce:
- Removal From an Abusive Environment
I do see, that in contentious marriages, there often exists an element of verbal and sometimes physical abuse or domestic violence in the relationship. In these situations, the most important benefit of a divorce is that the children are being removed from that abuse. When the abuse is between the parents, divorce makes it so the children no longer have to deal with that stressful, and potentially harmful situation.
- Reducing Tension at Home
The children’s living situation generally becomes more relaxed for the children when the divorced parents are no longer living together. The animosity, anger, fighting, screaming and yelling, all tend to lessen when the parties are no longer in close proximity for extended periods of time. Though the children often live with or visit each of the parents, their time spent in either environment is generally more relaxed and stress-free.
- Increased Self-Sufficiency
I see children of divorced parents tend to have to rely on themselves more. They become more independent and self-reliant. This is usually due to necessity as living in single-parent households forces them to become more independent at an earlier age.
- Sibling Relationships
Another thing that I see is that siblings become closer during and after their parents’ divorce. They understand what is happening in their family dynamic and no one else understands it like their siblings do. Siblings often become closer. They share more. They communicate more. Overall, I tend to see sibling relationships strengthen after their parent’s divorce.
- Improved Time Management and Organization Skills
I also see that the children of divorced parents learn how to manage their time and become more organized quicker due to the circumstances related to their parent’s divorce. Because the children are going back and forth between households they have to remember to bring their homework, bring their clothing, or return back to the other parent’s home with other items. For this reason they become better at organizing themselves and their belongings and also with time management.
So although it at first sound like it’s ridiculous that children can benefit from their parents divorcing, if you look at it this way, you can see that it can become a much more positive thing for children in the long turn.
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